Self Controll

So last night I didn't make it to the gym :( So I ate salad for dinner to compensate lol then my mom brought over Dairy Queen while we watched Grey's. . .I just can't get ahead! I'm losing faith in my quest to be skinny by May. (Encouraging words would be much appreciated lol) I guess it all comes down to control. And at this point is seems as though I have NO CLUE what self control is. I try, I really do, but I have a rough day or I feel gross and then I eat junk. I get a throbbing headache and I take Excedrin and drink a soda or cup of coffee. Or I'm super tired and I don't go to the gym. I want this, I do, I want it BAD! But how do I change? How do I make my self eat better? How do I force my self to go work out when I really don't want to? How do I change my thought process?

I love the way working out feels, and I love that I know eating healthier is so much better for me. But I LOVE food. I love bad food ha ha. I love chocolate, and soda, and Starbucks, and ice cream, and french fries, and bacon cheeseburgers...I LOVE FOOD! On the plus side I love celery, and strawberries, and oranges (however I hate that oranges are so much work!). I try and watch my portions. No seconds, even when I really really want them. Smaller pieces of meat, less pasta with little or no sauce on it, whole grain instead of white bread and pasta, skim milk instead of 2%. Skip on desert, don't eat a cupcake even though they look soooo good! I just don't know what else to do.

I'm admitting right now that on Monday (Valentines Day) I will splurge. I'm making grilled rib eyes with garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus for dinner. That and a bottle of wine lol. I don't know about desert yet. We'll see.

Anyone with advice, I would love your comments! Please help me succeed!

So, on a different note *insert random tangent here* I got checked out today at the gas station by two men lol. I didn't even have any makeup on yet but I totally got the up-and-down haha. Then when they were pulling out the one in the passenger side waved at me. I thought it was quite funny and even gave me a little (much needed) confidence boost for the day. I got in my truck after finishing fueling up and told Elliot that he and daddy were the only men for me :)