This is my first blog since I stopped using MySpace like a million years ago. And while this entry may not make sense to some of you, it's going to make sense to me. The reason entry is called "My Quest" is because that's what this blog is for me. It's a quest to be better. A better cook, a better housekeeper, a better Mother, a better dog owner, a better girlfriend, a better lover ;) Just to for warn my readers there may be some posts that you don't agree with, there may be some posts that make you blush, but that's me. I'm loud, opinionated, and sometimes I share a little more than you want to know. But in those situations you can stop reading, or skip ahead, it's up to you! There will be posts about my weight loss journey, my son, my family...dinner, my boyfriend, and how my dogs decided to eat the pizza off the counter. If this gets read, great! If not, I guess I'll never know. But it's my way of blowing off some steam and getting things off my mind. So now that I've given you all a little intro into what this blog is about, here it goes:
After almost a full week off at the gym, I felt disgusting yesterday. It has been so horrendously cold that I've had no motivation to go. So last night I was mad. Mad that my house was still a mess after two days of cleaning, mad that Tim didn't tell me he noticed a change in the laundry pile, mad that after 3 days of calling the city to come plow they finally did and now we're getting another drift in the cul-de-sac. I was just mad. So after putting Elliot to bed, I put on my spanks, sweats, sports bra, tee and sweatshirt and decided to go blow some steam off at the gym. And for the most part my 30 minute run and ab workout did the trick, until I woke up this morning. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why am I so angry all the time? Last night I just felt like crying that's how angry I was. It doesn't make sense to me. I have a great life for the most part! I have a loving family, a wonderful baby, a great boyfriend, a house over my head, food in the kitchen, and God in my heart. What is so bad that makes me this angry? Perhaps it's partially that I've been on this weight loss kick since the first of the year. I got a membership to the rec and have been pretty diligent about going. I've been eating healthier (with a few slips here and there) and not drinking soda. But I have yet to see results. 3 lbs, that's it, 3 lbs in almost a month...what am I doing wrong? It makes me want to give up, that's always been my problem, I start working out and eating healthier and when I don't see a change I give up. But last night on the elliptical I was listening to my iPod and one of my favorite songs came on. I guess I had never heard this specific line because I had never heard it with headphones on before, but I loved it.
"don't believe you don't succeed and if you don't apply you won't achieve you keep ya head up high feet down low follow your heart 'till you get to the door."
This is my motivation for the week. Believe I can succeed. We'll go from there.
