So I'm writing a quick entry while my baby boy is napping.
Elliot Parker is 18 months old today! I can hardly believe it. A year and a half already! He is such a blessing, a joy, the comic relief, and a handful! We're half way to 3. . . ok, not thinking that one anymore! How about 6 months to 2 . . . ok, nope. How about just amazed at how much he's grown! Yeah, I'll go with that thought : )
So much is on my mind right now, I don't even know where to start.
I guess I'll start with the not so happy topic: Losing a friend.
I like to think that I'm a pretty good friend. I remember birthdays, am a good shoulder to cry on, there to celebrate wins and pep talk the loses, a great ear, a clear mind, and a FABULOUS secret keeper. So with all of this being said, I believe I deserve the same in return. Is that so much to ask? How do you decide when to say enough? I don't like being the "convenient" friend. I don't like being treated like I'm stupid, and I especially don't like being lied to. So when someone that I've grown close to starts doing these things, what am I to do? Here's the situation: my friend was behaving badly. She had come upon a sticky situation and began lying about it, sneaking around, being rude etc. So when she asks my advice I give it to her. And I'll admit, even when she didn't ask, I gave her a little. This is what friends are for. I was always taught that friends tell you what you want to hear, best friends tell you what you need to hear. And after she heard what she needed to, she wrote me off. Pretty much stopped being my friend all together. But then in time of need, she wanted me. And I was there, I pushed my hurt feelings aside, and was the best friend I could be. And now that she doesn't need me anymore, I'm nothing to her but an occasional Facebook comment. Perhaps her side of the story is different, but this is all I have to base my conclusion off. And my conclusion is: she no longer needs/wants me in her life. So do I let the "friendship" die on it's own? This may be hard seeing as how my best friend is also her friend. What do I do?
I think the part about this that sucks the most, is that I'm ALWAYS the "convenient" friend. Somehow, I always end up being friends with the people that treat me the worst, when I give them everything I have. I was raised to be a great friend, was no one else? The one exception to this is my best friend, Leslie. She's been there for me just as much as I've been there for her. And even when we don't talk for a few days, we pick up where we left off. I love her, and I believe that God gave me a run of shitty friends so that when Les came along, I could truly appreciate her. I'm also becoming great friends with Elliot's lover, Lilly's mom, Falesha : ) I think we're good for each other! Just what the friendship doctor ordered. I can't wait to see what this friendship turns into!
So for now, I suppose I will be appreciative of the friends I do have. And not worry so much about the ones that I soon wont.
Opinions?
