I'm still good ♫

So, as many of you know this has been a tough week for me; both emotionally and physically.



My not so cute boot



Thursday afternoon I had lunch with my mom down town. When we were leaving and walking across the street to my truck I tripped in a pot hole. I had been carrying Elliot in front of me to block him from the blowing snow and didn't see the hole. I went down, and I went down HARD! The worst part was that I dropped Elliot. I had no control. Luckily he only bumped his head (not even hard enough to leave a red spot) and bit his tongue. Me on the other hand didn't make it out so lucky. I twisted my ankle, bruised up my knees, smacked my right wrist, and scratched up my elbows. It was luck however that the diaper bag landed directly under my head (keeping my hair out of the mud, you know, the important stuff lol)!

So there I was, laying in the middle of Gillette Avenue in the mud with my body throbbing and my toddler crying. My mom didn't know what to do first. Thankfully she picked up Elliot first. . .that's what I would have done too lol. A car or two passed the intersection and I was instantly annoyed. Then a very nice lady rushed over and two men stopped in the middle of the road and helped my mom get me off the ground. I plan on writing a letter to the editor of the News Record to thank them for their kindness. So long story short, my right ankle is in a walking boot for now and the rest of my body is bruised and sore. I'm just glad that Elliot and I are both ok, and I'm also happy to know that there are still nice people out there that will stop and help when needed!



My best friend <3



I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately on the friend front. I'm exhausted! Sometimes I think life would be easier without friends. But I know that's not true. I'm just stressed. I can't talk to my BF about it cause she's "stuck in the middle" but no one else knows the situation from both sides. It's just tough to want something so bad but not see it happen right away. I know, patience patience patience. Blech! I hate that I let it get to me so bad, but that's the type of person I am. I'm not trying to hurt any one's feelings, but I hate when apologies aren't good enough. What else am I supposed to do? I'm not the only one in the wrong, am I? I can only say "I'm sorry" so many times. Ugh!

So there it is, my physical and emotional roller coaster for the week.



This is my life, and most the time I wouldn't have it any other way. . .

So I might slip again, let it in now and then, that don't mean anything. . .I'm still good!

Kait's Alphabet

I had a lot of time this weekend to think about the alphabet. The letter "L" in particular. So here it is, the Alphabet of Kait! Enjoy :)

A is for Angry which I have been a lot lately
B is for Bruising which I do easily lately
C is for Cold which I always am
D is for Diet. . .I'm working on this one
E is for Enthusiasm or Energy toward my workout
F is for Food and by food I mean healthier food
G is for Gracious, for all of the wonderful things in my life
H is for Happy, what I'm trying to be more of
I is for Ice Cream, my weakness
J is for Jealousy, something I need less of in my life
K is for Kait! Duh lol
L is for Large, the size of clothing that is ruling my life right now. . .But soon will not be!! So instead I will go with Love, or Life : )
M is for More, a word I need to cut out of my dietary life
N is for NO! A word that I'm learning to use in different ways. No to soda and No to bad moods
O is for Optimistic, something that I need to be about getting on the road to a happier healthier life
P is for Poor, something that I'm wishing I wont be soon
Q is for Quest, what I'm on right now!
R is for Rest, something that I need
S is for Sleepy, yawn!
T is for True, what I am. A true friend, a true Christian, and a true person.
U is for Unbalanced, unbalanced diet, unbalanced workout, just unbalanced
V is for Victory! What I'm hoping to achieve soon on my quest
W is for Work, what I feel like I'm always doing. Work at work, work at home, work everywhere
X is for. . .Who am I joking, everyone knows there's only like 5 words that start with "X" and xerox doesn't pertain to me
Y is for Yummy, the kind of food I like
Z is for Zero, the amount of bad that I have room for in my life.

So there you have it, the Alphabet of Kait! I'll probably post later, but this is what I have for now!

Once again, the "convenient" friend

So I'm writing a quick entry while my baby boy is napping.

Elliot Parker is 18 months old today! I can hardly believe it. A year and a half already! He is such a blessing, a joy, the comic relief, and a handful! We're half way to 3. . . ok, not thinking that one anymore! How about 6 months to 2 . . . ok, nope. How about just amazed at how much he's grown! Yeah, I'll go with that thought : )

So much is on my mind right now, I don't even know where to start.

I guess I'll start with the not so happy topic: Losing a friend.
I like to think that I'm a pretty good friend. I remember birthdays, am a good shoulder to cry on, there to celebrate wins and pep talk the loses, a great ear, a clear mind, and a FABULOUS secret keeper. So with all of this being said, I believe I deserve the same in return. Is that so much to ask? How do you decide when to say enough? I don't like being the "convenient" friend. I don't like being treated like I'm stupid, and I especially don't like being lied to. So when someone that I've grown close to starts doing these things, what am I to do? Here's the situation: my friend was behaving badly. She had come upon a sticky situation and began lying about it, sneaking around, being rude etc. So when she asks my advice I give it to her. And I'll admit, even when she didn't ask, I gave her a little. This is what friends are for. I was always taught that friends tell you what you want to hear, best friends tell you what you need to hear. And after she heard what she needed to, she wrote me off. Pretty much stopped being my friend all together. But then in time of need, she wanted me. And I was there, I pushed my hurt feelings aside, and was the best friend I could be. And now that she doesn't need me anymore, I'm nothing to her but an occasional Facebook comment. Perhaps her side of the story is different, but this is all I have to base my conclusion off. And my conclusion is: she no longer needs/wants me in her life. So do I let the "friendship" die on it's own? This may be hard seeing as how my best friend is also her friend. What do I do?

I think the part about this that sucks the most, is that I'm ALWAYS the "convenient" friend. Somehow, I always end up being friends with the people that treat me the worst, when I give them everything I have. I was raised to be a great friend, was no one else? The one exception to this is my best friend, Leslie. She's been there for me just as much as I've been there for her. And even when we don't talk for a few days, we pick up where we left off. I love her, and I believe that God gave me a run of shitty friends so that when Les came along, I could truly appreciate her. I'm also becoming great friends with Elliot's lover, Lilly's mom, Falesha : ) I think we're good for each other! Just what the friendship doctor ordered. I can't wait to see what this friendship turns into!

So for now, I suppose I will be appreciative of the friends I do have. And not worry so much about the ones that I soon wont.

Opinions?

Magic Number 3

So today I was waiting on some laundry to finish and decided to do my measurements. Now, this is the first time I've taken them since I started my weight loss quest about a month ago. I was so shocked! 3 inches!! One off my waist, hips, and thighs!

While I'm still stuck at only 3 lbs lost this means that I must be toning up! And I'm ok with that. I've always told myself that the number doesn't matter as long as I look good, feel good, and am healthy. So, this is what I've decided: even if I don't lose one more pound as long as I keep losing inches I'm ok with it! And as everyone knows muscle weighs more than fat anyway! 

Now, with my current revelation, I'm ready to share my weight. I've been him-and-hawing about doing this for a while, but after seeing my new measurements, I'm going for it!

January 1st, 2011 I weighed 170 lbs.

Shocking for such a small person right? But what's more shocking than that is that since having Elliot I've lost 30 lbs! The day I went in to deliver I weighed 201. . .Holy smokes that's a lot for a lady measuring only 5' 2". Take away my almost 9 lb baby and I've still lost 20 ish lbs. So, I still have 25 lbs till my pre pregnancy weight. We'll see how far I get! Today I'm only at 167 but those 3 inches mean I'm doing something right! So there you have it. My new confidence for the day : )

Self Controll

So last night I didn't make it to the gym :( So I ate salad for dinner to compensate lol then my mom brought over Dairy Queen while we watched Grey's. . .I just can't get ahead! I'm losing faith in my quest to be skinny by May. (Encouraging words would be much appreciated lol) I guess it all comes down to control. And at this point is seems as though I have NO CLUE what self control is. I try, I really do, but I have a rough day or I feel gross and then I eat junk. I get a throbbing headache and I take Excedrin and drink a soda or cup of coffee. Or I'm super tired and I don't go to the gym. I want this, I do, I want it BAD! But how do I change? How do I make my self eat better? How do I force my self to go work out when I really don't want to? How do I change my thought process?

I love the way working out feels, and I love that I know eating healthier is so much better for me. But I LOVE food. I love bad food ha ha. I love chocolate, and soda, and Starbucks, and ice cream, and french fries, and bacon cheeseburgers...I LOVE FOOD! On the plus side I love celery, and strawberries, and oranges (however I hate that oranges are so much work!). I try and watch my portions. No seconds, even when I really really want them. Smaller pieces of meat, less pasta with little or no sauce on it, whole grain instead of white bread and pasta, skim milk instead of 2%. Skip on desert, don't eat a cupcake even though they look soooo good! I just don't know what else to do.

I'm admitting right now that on Monday (Valentines Day) I will splurge. I'm making grilled rib eyes with garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus for dinner. That and a bottle of wine lol. I don't know about desert yet. We'll see.

Anyone with advice, I would love your comments! Please help me succeed!

So, on a different note *insert random tangent here* I got checked out today at the gas station by two men lol. I didn't even have any makeup on yet but I totally got the up-and-down haha. Then when they were pulling out the one in the passenger side waved at me. I thought it was quite funny and even gave me a little (much needed) confidence boost for the day. I got in my truck after finishing fueling up and told Elliot that he and daddy were the only men for me :)

People with common sense?! WHERE?!?!

I've had a few days away from the computer, good for a little cyber detox haha! In the last few days I have had the chance to be out in public and notice that as a general population, Americans are lacking common sense.

Now, I'm not saying I'm perfect, I've never said I was (unless it was a joke). But seriously people?!

The weather in Wyoming can be deceiving, we all know that. It might look nice out because the sun is shining but in all actuality it's -5 out. Now, as a mother it's general knowledge that babies need one more layer than adults do to stay warm. At least it's general knowledge when you have common sense. This means if it's -5 and (as an adult) you are wearing a long sleeve and a coat, your infant needs a long sleeve, a sweater and a coat. . .It annoys me soooo much to see people walking into Walmart bundled up like an Eskimo and carrying they're baby that only has on a pair of jammies! Where is the common sense?!

And what's up with all these bad drivers?! I know that you have to go through drivers ed now for kids to get their license, but what about the older people? Two days in a row I've almost been hit (in the same intersection none the less) because people apparently don't know what a "right of way" is. . .Hey P.S. if I'm going straight, and you're turning left, aka across on coming traffic, who has the right of way? ME! And then they honk and flip me off, like I'm the bad driver. News Flash Buddy, learn to drive! And just because there is 1/4 inch of snow on the ground does not mean you get to drive like a moron. We live in WYOMING for Pete's sake, it's not the first time you've seen snow!  And I know this because you have Wyoming plates on your car, if you had Arizona plates I might forgive you. Speaking of Arizona, our street supervisor for the city is from Arizona. Quick question, if you've never seen snow before, how do you know the correct way to keep the streets of Gillette clean and free of snow? And BTW, 2 feet of snow 8 feet out in front of my side walk is NOT the "windrow." Do you even know what a "windrow" is? I do, I Googled it. And what was in front of my house, was not a windrow. Where is the common sense?!

We went to dinner at Humphrey's (a local bar and grill) on Friday night. We ended up being seated next to a large group of Union Welders, and by large I mean like 12+ guys. We had Elliot with us, who is in that stage where he's learning new words (not that you can really understand him, but he tries). These guys don't even miss a beat as we are seated. "Yeah so-and-so is such a F***in D**che bag!" and so on and so forth. Now once again, as a mother (and a normal person) I tend to watch my language when there are tiny humans around. This guy on the other hand, does not. And it's not like they were speaking quietly, they were LOUD! Where is the common sense?! And even more, where is the class?

I was about this close (picture me with my pointer finger and thumb about half an inch apart) to turning to them and saying "Excuse me, this is a family restaurant, could you please watch your language?!" when an older gentlemen from the table came over to us. He was very polite and told us he would like to buy our dinner. He said "I was hoping that the guys would notice the little guy and  watch their language a little, they are saying words not appropriate for little ears. So I'm very sorry, but to make it up to you guys I would like to buy your meal. Just kind of enjoy some of the stuff they're saying because they really are funny guys." I was shocked! I told him that was not necessary but he insisted. Apparently there are a few people in this world that still have values. This man was one of them!

That however got me thinking (I know, Uh Oh! She's "thinking" again), is today's generation of teens and young adults doomed? I know my mother instilled values in me. You don't say bad words, you say please and thank you, pray before dinner, wash your hands. Put on a coat when it's cold outside, make your bed and brush your teeth. Family first, this one is especially important to me. These are things I plan on teaching my children! I feel like parents are losing the battle with belligerent snotty rude children!  We have kids who think that just because they don't live at home anymore they don't have to come to family gatherings. And that because they're boyfriend/girlfriend pays for things for them that they don't need their family anymore. Hey, guess what?! You're family was there when your boyfriend wasn't. And when he's gone, your family will still be there. But not if you keep pushing them away and acting like they don't matter to you.

What is there for us to do? Is it really a losing battle? Not with my children it wont be. I'm bound and determined to teach my children what it really is to be a good person. A happy, well mannered, upstanding, classy person.

DVDs, Toilet paper, and dog water...Oh MY!

It seems as though the "terrible two's" have struck early in our house! This morning was going good, Elliot let me sleep in, then we cuddled, and I got him some milk. Then I had to email a client about some photos. That's when all hell broke loose! Five minutes, tops! That's all the time it takes for an 18 month old to destroy your home. In five minutes Elliot took out every single DVD that he could get to off the DVD rack, he threw an entire brand new roll of toilet paper into the toilet  that I had to fish out (however much to my satisfaction the toilet had been flushed, thank God), and decided that mommy's cell phone needed a bath. . . in the dog water.

So after fishing out the roll of sopping wet toilet paper and letting it dry out a little in the bathtub, picking up all of the DVDs, and (excuse the coarse language but this term fits so nicely here) freaking shit to get my cell case off, battery popped out, and stick my cell under the blow dryer (then the vacuum to suck out any remaining water), I had a minute to think:

If terrible two's hit at 18 months, I'm terrified to know what's coming next!

I am, however, extremely excited that my phone still works, that Elliot didn't decide to try and flush the toilet, and that none of the DVDs were out of their cases. So if I think about it that way, life is good! And after being super frustrated about this a few hours ago, I can now laugh at my little Tasmanian Devil.

Sometimes, it's not as bad as we think : )

It's the start of something new...

Two blogs in one day, now that's just outrageous! Haha, before I hit the sack, hay, rack, comfy oasis of sleepy land if you will, I decided to write about the last part of my day.

It turns out that my bad mood from before has subsided (Thank GOD)! All it required was a few of my favorite things. Tanning (a little artificial vitamin D never hurt anyone {OK that's debatable}), sweet raspberry tea, breakfast for dinner (my world famous bacon-cheese-scrambled-eggs), cuddle time with my main squeeze (Elliot), chillin with my doggies (Londie Lu and Laney Bug), skype with my big brother, and a solid workout with my little sissy (LaLa).

After some advice from a reader (you know who you are, and thanks again btw) I decided to kick my workout up a notch and do cardio for 45 minutes instead of 30. Let me tell you 15 minutes doesn't seem that long until your legs start to feel like jello...We'll see how this goes!

After that crazy intense work out I'm going to take my sugary sweet gelatinous feeling legs and drift of to lala land (hopefully!) Tomorrow is a day off (Ha! Yeah right, Mom's never have a day off!) that will be filled with a trip to the gym, the *gasp choke gag* grocery store, and then Grey's night!! I'm so happy that my funky mood is out and has been replaced with happiness for today was a good day, and no matter what happens tomorrow, it's nothing that a new episode of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice wont fix (unless I break my eye socket and can't watch it, that would suck!)

Good night, sweet dreams, and don't let the bed bugs bite!
(I'm serious about those bed bugs, I really hope you don't have them!!!)

My "Quest"

This is my first blog since I stopped using MySpace like a million years ago. And while this entry may not make sense to some of you, it's going to make sense to me.  The reason entry is called "My Quest" is because that's what this blog is for me. It's a quest to be better. A better cook, a better housekeeper, a better Mother, a better dog owner, a better girlfriend, a better lover ;) Just to for warn my readers there may be some posts that you don't agree with, there may be some posts that make you blush, but that's me. I'm loud, opinionated, and sometimes I share a little more than  you want to know. But in those situations you can stop reading, or skip ahead, it's up to you! There will be posts about my weight loss journey, my son, my family...dinner, my boyfriend, and how my dogs decided to eat the pizza off the counter. If this gets read, great! If not, I guess I'll never know. But it's my way of blowing off some steam and getting things off my mind. So now that I've given you all a little intro into what this blog is about, here it goes:

After almost a full week off at the gym, I felt disgusting yesterday. It has been so horrendously cold that I've had no motivation to go. So last night I was mad. Mad that my house was still a mess after two days of cleaning, mad that Tim didn't tell me he noticed a change in the laundry pile, mad that after 3 days of calling the city to come plow they finally did and now we're getting another drift in the cul-de-sac. I was just mad. So after putting Elliot to bed, I put on my spanks, sweats, sports bra, tee and sweatshirt and decided to go blow some steam off at the gym. And for the most part my 30 minute run and ab workout did the trick, until I woke up this morning. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why am I so angry all the time? Last night I just felt like crying that's how angry I was. It doesn't make sense to me. I have a great life for the most part! I have a loving family, a wonderful baby, a great boyfriend, a house over my head, food in the kitchen, and God in my heart. What is so bad that makes me this angry? Perhaps it's partially that I've been on this weight loss kick since the first of the year. I got a membership to the rec and have been pretty diligent about going. I've been eating healthier (with a few slips here and there) and not drinking soda. But I have yet to see results. 3 lbs, that's it, 3 lbs in almost a month...what am I doing wrong? It makes me want to give up, that's always been my problem, I start working out and eating healthier and when I don't see a change I give up. But last night on the elliptical I was listening to my iPod and one of my favorite songs came on. I guess I had never heard this specific line because I had never heard it with headphones on before, but I loved it.

 "don't believe you don't succeed and if you don't apply you won't achieve you keep ya head up high feet down low follow your heart 'till you get to the door."

This is my motivation for the week. Believe I can succeed. We'll go from there.