Ugh, I get so frustrated with people sometimes! I just don't understand other's priorities and thought processes. I'm just feeling so confused and frustrated. Between Tim's work cut backs, bills, my sisters wedding, and the house I feel like I'm treading water and barley keeping my head above. Not to mention that potty training might be the death of me! Lately I feel under appreciated and overwhelmed.
I know this sounds like a "oh poor pitiful me" entry, but it's not. I just need to get this all out of my head before I go crazy.
Maybe I'm trying to live vicariously through my sister right now and that's why I'm so stressed, or maybe I bite off more than I can chew. Regardless of the reason I just feel like I need a day away to relax and not worry about everything going on right now.
What I do know is that I'm so sick if people's attitudes!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Working on the quest!
So my quest for a better me is going well!
I finally found a hair color that I'm totally ok with, and I don't even want to change it anytime soon!
I've been doing really well with my weight loss program, I'm down 14 lbs in 40 days! And I'm not even doing anything unhealthy like supplements or some sick diet. I'm just logging what I eat in my calorie tracker and working out a little.
I'm getting better about keeping the house picked up.
I went to Vegas for WPPI (the biggest photographers convention EVER) and learned soooo much that I just want to be busy every day!
So that's just a little update :)
Peace
I finally found a hair color that I'm totally ok with, and I don't even want to change it anytime soon!
I've been doing really well with my weight loss program, I'm down 14 lbs in 40 days! And I'm not even doing anything unhealthy like supplements or some sick diet. I'm just logging what I eat in my calorie tracker and working out a little.
I'm getting better about keeping the house picked up.
I went to Vegas for WPPI (the biggest photographers convention EVER) and learned soooo much that I just want to be busy every day!
So that's just a little update :)
Peace
Thursday, December 22, 2011
To set the record straight.
To clear a few things up from my last post that has apparently hit a nerve with a lot of people:
I will not apologise for what I said. But I will say I'm sorry that it hurt people because that wasn't the intent.
I was NOT saying that anyone who has babies out of wedlock or moves in with their boyfriend before marriage is a bad person.
That post was NOT written to start a fight or to make people mad. The intent of the blog was to get people's opinions on the topic since it's a rising topic in today's society. I think people need to be more responsible with bringing children into this world. The phrasing of the issue was a little off and I apologise for that.
Someone brought up that the only judgement that matters is the one done by God, and I agree. I was brought up going to church every Sunday and this is what I was taught: It is a sin to live with a man who is not your husband. It is a sin to have sex before you are married. It is a sin to have a child before you are married. Some people didn't grow up with the same beliefs as me, and I accept that. But I was taught growing up that in God's eyes and according to the Bible you should be married, then live together, and then have children. You are correct in your assessment that only God's judgement matters, but according to His word, you are sinning. But hey, we're all sinners. I ask for forgiveness every night when I prey before bed that he'll forgive me for sinning by living with my boyfriend. I am not ashamed of this or my beliefs. I don't care if you agree with me or not.
But I would like to remind everyone reading that I have the right to my opinion just like you all do.
It's pretty low to write hateful comments about a post and not bring it to the person who wrote it.
I will state one more time, if you don't like what I have to say, stop reading.
I will not apologise for what I said. But I will say I'm sorry that it hurt people because that wasn't the intent.
I was NOT saying that anyone who has babies out of wedlock or moves in with their boyfriend before marriage is a bad person.
That post was NOT written to start a fight or to make people mad. The intent of the blog was to get people's opinions on the topic since it's a rising topic in today's society. I think people need to be more responsible with bringing children into this world. The phrasing of the issue was a little off and I apologise for that.
Someone brought up that the only judgement that matters is the one done by God, and I agree. I was brought up going to church every Sunday and this is what I was taught: It is a sin to live with a man who is not your husband. It is a sin to have sex before you are married. It is a sin to have a child before you are married. Some people didn't grow up with the same beliefs as me, and I accept that. But I was taught growing up that in God's eyes and according to the Bible you should be married, then live together, and then have children. You are correct in your assessment that only God's judgement matters, but according to His word, you are sinning. But hey, we're all sinners. I ask for forgiveness every night when I prey before bed that he'll forgive me for sinning by living with my boyfriend. I am not ashamed of this or my beliefs. I don't care if you agree with me or not.
But I would like to remind everyone reading that I have the right to my opinion just like you all do.
It's pretty low to write hateful comments about a post and not bring it to the person who wrote it.
I will state one more time, if you don't like what I have to say, stop reading.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The old fashion way.
So for my second blog of the day here it goes:
Does anyone do life the "in correct order way" anymore?
I mean really, the way that life is suppose to go. Like, get married, move in together, then have kids. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I honestly can only count like a hand full of people that I know that actually didn't already have a kid or weren't pregnant when they got married!
On a side note: I WAS married when I got pregnant and had my son. Now I'm not married with a two year old and an amazing boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not one to judge. But how many people these days actually have the same values that our parents or grandparents had?
And I'm not just talking about the baby making thing. How about living together before marriage? I mean Tim and I live together, but it's because of Elliot. If I didn't have Ell, Tim and I would most likely not live together until we were married.
I just don't understand. What's the big hype? Is it just totally acceptable in society now to get pregnant, have your baby, then decide to get married to the guy just cause he's your baby daddy? I think not. But I do think that shows such as Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant have in some way told younger girls that it's not that big of a deal if that's what happens.
I really hope you aren't taking this the wrong way, because I'm not saying that I think you're a horrible person if this happens to you. I'm not looking down on you, or putting you down. And I'm also not making myself an exception to the rule. I know a lot of people who have been in this situation and they are perfectly happy being married with kids now.
I'm strictly wondering, does it mean anything to anyone anymore to do things in the order they were meant to be done?
Does anyone do life the "in correct order way" anymore?
I mean really, the way that life is suppose to go. Like, get married, move in together, then have kids. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I honestly can only count like a hand full of people that I know that actually didn't already have a kid or weren't pregnant when they got married!
On a side note: I WAS married when I got pregnant and had my son. Now I'm not married with a two year old and an amazing boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not one to judge. But how many people these days actually have the same values that our parents or grandparents had?
And I'm not just talking about the baby making thing. How about living together before marriage? I mean Tim and I live together, but it's because of Elliot. If I didn't have Ell, Tim and I would most likely not live together until we were married.
I just don't understand. What's the big hype? Is it just totally acceptable in society now to get pregnant, have your baby, then decide to get married to the guy just cause he's your baby daddy? I think not. But I do think that shows such as Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant have in some way told younger girls that it's not that big of a deal if that's what happens.
I really hope you aren't taking this the wrong way, because I'm not saying that I think you're a horrible person if this happens to you. I'm not looking down on you, or putting you down. And I'm also not making myself an exception to the rule. I know a lot of people who have been in this situation and they are perfectly happy being married with kids now.
I'm strictly wondering, does it mean anything to anyone anymore to do things in the order they were meant to be done?
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Busy Busy Busy
Here it is, Christmas time....and yet again I've taken on too much all at once. I've been busting my butt making all of these ear warmers that I have orders for, as well as having 4 photo shoots in 1 week to edit, and something possessed me to make my Christmas cards this year instead of just printing them at Walmart like every other year.
I'm proud to say that I've successfully gotten my ear warmer orders down from over 20 to 8 paying customers (and three for family), I've edited all of my photos (except for the shoot I just did on Sunday that wasn't included in the 4 in one week) and have gotten half of my Christmas cards done and sent!
I have so much going on that I've barely had time to blog at all. It's almost kind of weird to be doing this. I have a lot to do but I decided that I needed a little time to just decompress. I really should be crocheting....but I'll do that in a bit.
I feel like we did pretty good this Christmas. I will officially win "Best Mom of the Year" award on Christmas day when Elliot opens his gifts (a Buzz Lightyear action figure that talks and lights up, and a Woody action figure that has a real pull string and talks back when you talk to him). I'm hoping I don't win "Worst Girlfriend of the Year" when Tim opens his gifts.....I'll let ya know how that one goes lol. I thought that they were pretty thoughtful gifts, but Tim is hard to shop for!
I was pretty proud of myself though, I was actually able to give myself a paycheck from the business! I checked the account and decided that I've worked hard enough and business has been good this month. It felt good knowing that Tim wasn't actually buying his own gifts this year haha. Business has been picking up recently, which is definitely good! I've already booked a wedding for next summer and I have two more shoots this month! The way I look at it is that I haven't done any advertising except for on Facebook and by word of mouth, so all in all I'm doing pretty good!
I heard from Dr. Phil that a toddler needs your undivided attention every 4 minutes and that being a stay at home mom is the equivalent of having 4 full time jobs. So if I'm a stay at home mom who does photography from home and has a crocheting business on the side I really have like....5 full time jobs and a part time job! Holy smokes!! I think for that I deserve a day off at the spa!
It's been weird, you'd think that with being so busy I'd be super tired at night. But lately I've been going to bed no earlier than 12 am, and sometimes I'm even up until 2. I don't think that's right. I have no idea why I'm not tired at night. And I've been having super weird dreams, like one had Charlie Sheen in it....I don't remember a lot of it, but I'm sure he was winning. And one night Tim told me that I was talking in my sleep and was apparently angry about something. But I was talking to my friend Kelci and I guess I said a few other peoples names too and that I "Want that one! NO!! The other one!!" I have no idea what I was dreaming about but I know it must have been intense for me to be talking loudly enough to wake up Tim.....
So we don't get to go to Missouri for Christmas this year, and that makes me sad. But at the same time with how busy we've been I'm glad it's one less thing to have to plan! I hope that maybe some time in March we'll head that way and try to conserve Tim's time off so that next year we can actually go there for Christmas. I feel bad for him, this will be his first Christmas totally away from home. I'm glad that we got his new laptop and skype because now his family can watch us open gifts :)
Well this blog has been super long and kind of scattered so I guess I'll be done for now. I'll keep everyone updated as the Holiday season progresses.
Peace and love with wishes of good health and happiness <3
I'm proud to say that I've successfully gotten my ear warmer orders down from over 20 to 8 paying customers (and three for family), I've edited all of my photos (except for the shoot I just did on Sunday that wasn't included in the 4 in one week) and have gotten half of my Christmas cards done and sent!
I have so much going on that I've barely had time to blog at all. It's almost kind of weird to be doing this. I have a lot to do but I decided that I needed a little time to just decompress. I really should be crocheting....but I'll do that in a bit.
I feel like we did pretty good this Christmas. I will officially win "Best Mom of the Year" award on Christmas day when Elliot opens his gifts (a Buzz Lightyear action figure that talks and lights up, and a Woody action figure that has a real pull string and talks back when you talk to him). I'm hoping I don't win "Worst Girlfriend of the Year" when Tim opens his gifts.....I'll let ya know how that one goes lol. I thought that they were pretty thoughtful gifts, but Tim is hard to shop for!
I was pretty proud of myself though, I was actually able to give myself a paycheck from the business! I checked the account and decided that I've worked hard enough and business has been good this month. It felt good knowing that Tim wasn't actually buying his own gifts this year haha. Business has been picking up recently, which is definitely good! I've already booked a wedding for next summer and I have two more shoots this month! The way I look at it is that I haven't done any advertising except for on Facebook and by word of mouth, so all in all I'm doing pretty good!
I heard from Dr. Phil that a toddler needs your undivided attention every 4 minutes and that being a stay at home mom is the equivalent of having 4 full time jobs. So if I'm a stay at home mom who does photography from home and has a crocheting business on the side I really have like....5 full time jobs and a part time job! Holy smokes!! I think for that I deserve a day off at the spa!
It's been weird, you'd think that with being so busy I'd be super tired at night. But lately I've been going to bed no earlier than 12 am, and sometimes I'm even up until 2. I don't think that's right. I have no idea why I'm not tired at night. And I've been having super weird dreams, like one had Charlie Sheen in it....I don't remember a lot of it, but I'm sure he was winning. And one night Tim told me that I was talking in my sleep and was apparently angry about something. But I was talking to my friend Kelci and I guess I said a few other peoples names too and that I "Want that one! NO!! The other one!!" I have no idea what I was dreaming about but I know it must have been intense for me to be talking loudly enough to wake up Tim.....
So we don't get to go to Missouri for Christmas this year, and that makes me sad. But at the same time with how busy we've been I'm glad it's one less thing to have to plan! I hope that maybe some time in March we'll head that way and try to conserve Tim's time off so that next year we can actually go there for Christmas. I feel bad for him, this will be his first Christmas totally away from home. I'm glad that we got his new laptop and skype because now his family can watch us open gifts :)
Well this blog has been super long and kind of scattered so I guess I'll be done for now. I'll keep everyone updated as the Holiday season progresses.
Peace and love with wishes of good health and happiness <3
Friday, November 4, 2011
Happy
So lately I've been stressed out quiet a bit. I think it's because there have been a few stressful situations in my life recently. Tim's parents and his grandma were coming to visit so I was just convinced that I HAD to paint my kitchen and hallway before they got here. I started 5 days before they were supposed to arrive....So having a definite deadline like that stressed me out.
Then they were here, and I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, but it was stressful! I love Tim's family, but we have such a small house that it's hard for me to relax when there are more than like 3 people in it! I've decided that I need to learn to just take a deep breath when things are stressful and I can't fix it. There is nothing that I can do about it so I just need to learn to deal :)
I have been stressed about my weight (which is nothing new) but I am still working on loving myself.
Oh and I have a two year old, if that's not stressful I don't know what is!
So with that being said, without all the stress I'm actually happy. I'm happy for the first time in a while. It may sound weird because there are so many stressful things in my life now. But I am honesty happy!
I'm happy and I don't know how to explain it.
I think part of it is because I've noticed a change in Tim. He seems less stressed, less crabby, more at peace. Him being less stressed makes me less stressed :)
I think another part of it is that I finally got out of all of that drama with those two silly girls. My friendships with my other friends are better because of it, and I'm a better person because of it! Drama makes me a crabby, uptight, angry, stressed person. And now I have no drama!!!
Kelci and I are closer now then ever and Falesha and my friendship grows every day!! I love those two girls like my sisters.
I'm also Happy because Elliot is starting to say more words! Like "lay down" and "love you" and "go home!" he's so smart and it just amazes me every day!
I've been working the coffee cabin for my mom a few afternoons a week and I really enjoy it! It gives me a break from my "terrible two" and gives her a break from the coffee shop!
I've also taken up crocheting, which Tim's 91 year old grandmother taught me during their visit :) It relaxes me and gives me something to do when I'm at the cabin!
So that's it, I'm happy!
Then they were here, and I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way, but it was stressful! I love Tim's family, but we have such a small house that it's hard for me to relax when there are more than like 3 people in it! I've decided that I need to learn to just take a deep breath when things are stressful and I can't fix it. There is nothing that I can do about it so I just need to learn to deal :)
I have been stressed about my weight (which is nothing new) but I am still working on loving myself.
Oh and I have a two year old, if that's not stressful I don't know what is!
So with that being said, without all the stress I'm actually happy. I'm happy for the first time in a while. It may sound weird because there are so many stressful things in my life now. But I am honesty happy!
I'm happy and I don't know how to explain it.
I think part of it is because I've noticed a change in Tim. He seems less stressed, less crabby, more at peace. Him being less stressed makes me less stressed :)
I think another part of it is that I finally got out of all of that drama with those two silly girls. My friendships with my other friends are better because of it, and I'm a better person because of it! Drama makes me a crabby, uptight, angry, stressed person. And now I have no drama!!!
Kelci and I are closer now then ever and Falesha and my friendship grows every day!! I love those two girls like my sisters.
I'm also Happy because Elliot is starting to say more words! Like "lay down" and "love you" and "go home!" he's so smart and it just amazes me every day!
I've been working the coffee cabin for my mom a few afternoons a week and I really enjoy it! It gives me a break from my "terrible two" and gives her a break from the coffee shop!
I've also taken up crocheting, which Tim's 91 year old grandmother taught me during their visit :) It relaxes me and gives me something to do when I'm at the cabin!
So that's it, I'm happy!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Torn at the Rolls
I'm kinda stuck in a place right now that is not uncommon among those my age that have had a baby.
I'm having a hard time decided what I want to do. One day I'm telling myself that I'm beautiful even though I'm over weight. I'm telling my self to just embrace my current size and instead of being upset by the clothes in my closet that don't fit, I should just get some that make me comfortable.
The next day I'm telling myself that I should start dieting.
Lasagna one day, salad the next.
I'm being torn at my fat rolls!
Winter is coming which makes me worry that if I start going for evening runs it wont last long due to cold weather. I'd love to get up and take a jog in the morning but Tim leaves for work so early that I can't just leave the house since Ell is still sleeping. I love going to the gym but I'm kinda broke (thumbs down!) and my gym buddies have left town. My sister is going to college in Powell now and my cousin Sam for one, pregnant, and for two lives in Laramie! I'm just at a loss. Elliot screams and screams when I take him to the Rec Center day care and makes it so I'm just worried about him the whole time. And now since my sisters left for college my mom has been running the coffee cabin so she can't keep an eye on him for an hour so I can go to Zumba.
I need help. Someone to go to the gym with, or to watch Ell so I can go to the gym. Someone to motivate without being mean! I need pushed, I need someone to say "Hey Kait, you have a pretty face but your body is going to waste! Time to put down that brownie and pick up an apple, Pal!"
I think I might as Tim if he'll get me another gym membership and perhaps a new pair of shoes...my Nike's are worn out. I'm thinking maybe a pair of those Vibram Five Finger shoes...I think they would do wonders for my bad knees!
So now the question: Is anyone out there willing to be my gym buddy and say "STOP EATING FATTY!" and someone who would be willing to watch my kid for an hour or two? Also, Is there anyone who has some great weight loss tips and or workouts that really work out lol?
HELP THE FATTY FEEL PRETTY AGAIN!!!
The size I'm hoping to get down to again! Size 7 135 lbs.
This is what I DO NOT WANT TO BE ANYMORE!!! Size 13 175 lbs.
I'm having a hard time decided what I want to do. One day I'm telling myself that I'm beautiful even though I'm over weight. I'm telling my self to just embrace my current size and instead of being upset by the clothes in my closet that don't fit, I should just get some that make me comfortable.
The next day I'm telling myself that I should start dieting.
Lasagna one day, salad the next.
I'm being torn at my fat rolls!
Winter is coming which makes me worry that if I start going for evening runs it wont last long due to cold weather. I'd love to get up and take a jog in the morning but Tim leaves for work so early that I can't just leave the house since Ell is still sleeping. I love going to the gym but I'm kinda broke (thumbs down!) and my gym buddies have left town. My sister is going to college in Powell now and my cousin Sam for one, pregnant, and for two lives in Laramie! I'm just at a loss. Elliot screams and screams when I take him to the Rec Center day care and makes it so I'm just worried about him the whole time. And now since my sisters left for college my mom has been running the coffee cabin so she can't keep an eye on him for an hour so I can go to Zumba.
I need help. Someone to go to the gym with, or to watch Ell so I can go to the gym. Someone to motivate without being mean! I need pushed, I need someone to say "Hey Kait, you have a pretty face but your body is going to waste! Time to put down that brownie and pick up an apple, Pal!"
I think I might as Tim if he'll get me another gym membership and perhaps a new pair of shoes...my Nike's are worn out. I'm thinking maybe a pair of those Vibram Five Finger shoes...I think they would do wonders for my bad knees!
So now the question: Is anyone out there willing to be my gym buddy and say "STOP EATING FATTY!" and someone who would be willing to watch my kid for an hour or two? Also, Is there anyone who has some great weight loss tips and or workouts that really work out lol?
HELP THE FATTY FEEL PRETTY AGAIN!!!
The size I'm hoping to get down to again! Size 7 135 lbs.
This is what I DO NOT WANT TO BE ANYMORE!!! Size 13 175 lbs.
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