Recently my little sister got engaged and my really good friend found out she is pregnant. No matter how happy I am for both of them, I can't help but be a little jealous. I know that sounds super childish, but I can't help it!
And don't get me wrong, I am really truly happy for both of them!!!!
I want to get married (again lol) SO badly!!! I know that Tim is the one and I know that eventually we'll get there. But for Christ's sake man! This week we've been living together for two years, I think that shows that neither of us are going anywhere lol.
I want another baby SO bad lol. I've always wanted my kids to be close together so that they could play and have the same friends....at this rate Elliot will be 5 by the time he has a sibling!
At one point I had a "Life Plan" (haha like those ever go as planned...) and this is how it went:
After High School go to college, after two years of college graduate. After that get married, start my business, then get pregnant, have 3 babies by the age of 26....
Instead this is how my life went:
Go to college for 1 year, get married, get pregnant, buy house, get divorced, have baby, work as a waitress then office assistant, start my business....
I'm not sure why people even make plans lol. They never, and I repeat, NEVER, go exactly as you want them to.
I know that I have this great guy, this beautiful son, a house that I own, and am a small business owner at the age of 22. But I feel like something is missing. I feel like until Tim and I get married and until we have another baby my family and my life isn't complete. Is that so selfish? I'm not sure why I feel that way, perhaps it's because I was brought up that you get married and then have children, and even though I was once married now I'm not. I feel like a...sinner (LOL I know, but it's the truth).
I kinda feel like I jumped into so many things so fast that now I'm at a stand still. I've always been one to jump into things, I mean seriously. I've had 4 serious relationships in my life and they were all pretty much back to back, this girl doesn't mess around! If I can't see myself marrying a guy I won't waste my time. But there's the point of my concern, two potentials and one ex husband later and here I am. Waiting on a guy that can't seem to put a ring on my finger! Am I a horribly demanding person? My friend Kelci and I call Tim my "Husfriend" cause he's more of a husband than a boyfriend since he lives here and takes care of Elliot and I, lol it's just not legal, YET!
Oh and by the way, my ex got remarried two weeks ago....to a dumb (excuse the language) bitch that hated me and spread rumors about me while we were together. I like to laugh it off but at the same time I can't help but be like: WTF he's married already and I'm not?!?!?! Lol, I'm so dramatic I know.
Well I suppose for now I will be living vicariously through my sis and my Amiga. Hopefully soon it will be my turn.
And to brighten the mood, here are the cookies I plan on making for my sister's bachelorette party :)
