Ugh, so much on my mind I don't even know where to start . . .
It's been a long week, last Tuesday Elliot and I flew out to Missouri. We stayed until Sunday when we headed home. We had gone out for Tim's sister Tammy's wedding. It was my first real wedding with a ceremony and full reception and everything! It was a lot of fun but very stressful!
We came home Sunday (Mother's day) and I was quite disappointed to find out that Tim and Elliot didn't get me even a card. Kinda sucky Mothers Day : ( So I got myself some tulips from Walmart and then cut some out of my garden and added to the vase. They're my favorite so that makes me happy haha.
We've been hanging out at the house mostly since we got home. I've done some cleaning and a bunch of photo editing! I can't wait to put up more photos of this wedding, I LOVE what I've seen so far!
I've been crabby the last two days. It sucks lol. Come to find out I will not be attending the Bridal shower for my cousin because it was planned on my birthday and I already had plans to go to dinner with Tim. I also will not be attending the Bridal Shower for my best friend Leslie (who's wedding I'm IN) because apparently it doesn't matter if all of the bridesmaids are available or not. It was planned on a day that the planner KNEW I was unavailable. I think that's quite rude and childish. Let alone a little weird that the shower is planned 4 months before the wedding. But hey, I'm not the bride so I guess it's whatever.
My feelings are hurt. I feel like no one really cares. Tim told me to suck it up and deal with it and that he's glad he's not a girl because he would never want friends that caused that much drama. Ha, he's crazy if he thinks I enjoy the drama. One of the big reasons I quit working at crApplebees.
2 of the bridesmaids and the bride are still working at the Bee's and I feel like because I don't work there anymore, I don't "count." NEWS FLASH: I'm busy making a better life for me and my son and have "graduated" from Applebees. I know what it's like to work somewhere because it's paying the bills, and don't take this the wrong way because I'm proud of Leslie for doing what she needs to do to provide a good life for Kaursin and pay for her wedding and graduate college. But I feel like screaming "Seriously, life is NOT about freaking Applebees!!! Just because I don't work there anymore does NOT mean that I don't deserve to be included!" And if the other two bridesmaids get mad at me for this I don't really care anymore. I'm not in this wedding for them, I'm in it for Leslie. I figure she'll tell me where to be and when and that's all that matters.
I'm so sick of childish people. And while I'm at it I might as well let it all out. I'm sick of bitches, I'm sick of liars, I'm sick of people being selfish, I'm sick of not fitting into my clothes, I'm sick of the number on the scale, I'm sick of feeling like no matter what I do it's never enough. I'm just plain sick and tired of it all. Maybe all I needed was to get it off my chest, maybe I need some time alone, maybe I need a stiff drink and a bubble bath. I don't know. But what I do know is that I'm done. I'm done with all of the people in my life that make me stress out and worry and feel like crap. I'm done caring about all of the little things. I'm done. I'm going to be a happy, stress free, caring individual if it kills me damn it!
On a little happier note, I took some pics of my beautiful friend Falesha's newest addition, McKinley. I LOVE them. I'm super pumped to edit the after I finish this wedding! Oh, and tomorrow (my birthday) I'm going to walk a 5k with Falesha!! It'll be my first and defiantly not my last!
Well for now, Peace Out!
